Wow. Somebody blocked my entire freakin’ country. If you’re in the US, you will probably get the same message by trying to view THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mljdpRp41I4

Best. Comic. EVER.

You can find the home of it here: Scare Tactix Graphix
The concept is created by Mitch Hyman (didn’t know what page to link to for him, but look him up!)

And awesome stuff by the artist at: http://surfaceart.deviantart.com
One of my favorites: Redneck Gothic
His homepage is Surface Art Studios

Looks like I have a couple of days to catch up on!

So…Saturday was the day of the big San Francisco Chinese New Year Treasure Hunt. I ate cashews for breakfast and more of that weird tasty orange energy stuff. For preparation…well, I guess I really didn’t do that much at all. Since we’ve done the hunt a couple of times before, we were just kind of ready, I guess. Maps, flashlight, stopping by a local hardware store for batteries…JTJ brought some alternate street indexes for the first time.

So we left a few hours early, and wandered around the Embarcadero Center looking for food. The place MS had in mind was closed, though :( And their menu would have been soooo tasty. Oh well. We ended up eating at some “Automatic Diner” (whatever the heck that is). The food wasn’t too bad. I learned that plastic bags and cups are no longer really allowed in the city (isn’t that weird?!). Instead, most of the “plastic” things that you drink from and eat with are made out of corn somehow!

After lunch, we began with the “volunteer” phrase of the hunt where we signed up, got our shirts, and mentally prepared for the thousands of people that would flood us. Our *main* job was to hand out the instructions and clue sheets to the hunters. We chose to do the beginner tent. I collated the two, for the most part. MS counted them and handed them out. MS received a lot more hunters than I did. I think there was a group of 13 tickets to process, once!

And Tram. Oh Tram, wherever you are, thank you. You made things so very much easier for me. Tram ripped my tickets for me so I could just concentrate on getting the papers out to people

Then it was meeting JTJ, waiting for the start of the hunt, and solving clues. The clues were surprisingly a lot easier this year. At least, that’s what I thought. MS said that it was that we just got better at solving them. I dunno ’bout that. Maybe it’s the odd occasional modesty in me that makes me want to say that they were easier. God forbid I complement myself.

We were able to see the tail end of the dragon as it passed by, but that meant that we planned part of the clue route incorrectly. Nobody saw that the parade route had been extended, so we all had to backtrack and go around the tip of the parade. What we all realized afterward is that we should have taken the clue route in the opposite direction so that when we reached the ‘crossing point’, that part of the parade would have been over and we could have just kept going. This cost us the trip to the location of one of the clues and we ended up having to skip it. No biggie — the hunt was still a blast

The most scenic and creative part of the hunt was (in my opinion) the part where the books light up over a shining sidewalk full of printed text. I can’t wait to see that part of the city again sometime.

The most comical part of the hunt was when I had to pee. Of course, as soon as that was the case, all bathrooms vanished instantly. The first bathroom I tried was “out of order” and I couldn’t enter it. It was one of those weird automatic public restrooms. The next two businesses we found “had no bathrooms”.

Then I saw an open door to a business. I ducked inside and said “Hello?” J of JTJ said she’d go with me as I heard behind me the phrase “Women’s Acupuncture Clinic” uttered by someone. I said a little louder…”Hello?”

I tried a door. Janitor closet.
I was about to try another door and this Chinese lady walked out, saw me, and went into a state of utter confusion and shock as I was shutting one of the doors in her building. Me. A man. J asked if there was a bathroom I could use. The Chinese lady was still in some sort of confusion as she replied, “No men here, no….no men here.”

My bad.

Thankfully we found the Chinese Hospital after that, whereupon I found a (rather spotless) public restroom.

We turned in our clues, picked up our “I FINISHED” shirt pins, and went to get food at a place called “Chevy’s”. Mexican place. Waited an hour and a half for mediocre food for no good reason. That’s all I have to say about THAT. The conversation and company were very very good, though.

I don’t even remember much about the rest of the night. I was exhausted.

OMG yesterday was so awesome. Where do I even begin…ah! Plane trip

So I’m sitting next to a teacher from Florida and she’s a kindergarten teacher. She’s telling me how this year is the year that she’s has the worst students ever. We talked about how times have changed.

She also complained about fat people spilling over in her plane seat and how golf was the most useless sport ever created…hah! She compared it to playing fetch with yourself. I guess the males really are dogs. *scratches*

The connecting flight in Phoenix was delayed by an hour and a half. Nobody really ever figured out why. MS theorized that they were waiting for another connecting flight that had the rest of the passengers. I had a seat with nobody beside me (yeah!) and worked the system to earn ginger ale.

I arrived, picked up my absolute favorite drink, Ito En Oi Ocha! Of course, I didn’t pick it up for me — I’m going to Japantown today to see if they have any there. I picked it up for MS, ’cause I just have to share my favorite things that way. ‘Cause I do that.

Then was a trip to home base, then snacks at Firewood Cafe. They have these really neat dining areas — one near the windows so you can peoplewatch as you eat, and one down a little hallway to the back of the store with this awesome…how do I put it…it’s open and skylit. You just have to go there and see it for yourself. I love their pasta. Go for the cream sauce!

Then was a trip to one of those Bay area companies to say hi to friends/friends-of-friends. I’m moving into what I am renaming the “ThunderTerminal”, btw — please install a shower. (or in the housekeeping room — whatever! )

Then was an unsuccessful trip to refresh my sneakers. *sigh* I’m just going to have to do that once I get back to The Retirement State, I guess. But, we discovered really interesting (red tea? lemongrass? chocorice? whaaaaat?) yogurt flavors on the way, so that made it cool.

One of the places we ended up looking was Nordstrom. They had an elevator with two buttons, and only two floors. What appeared to be a mall employee explained to us why you need something besides (as per MS, and I 100% agree) a button that just says “GO”.

Well, they do have enough money…

To which I responded (of course). “mmmmmMMMMM…sha sha…WE’RE going to buy ANOTHER button, hmph.”

Then it was back to home base to recoup before heading out to The Monk’s Kettle. That place…umm…how do I say it…

Combine a bowling alley, a car crash, and a lunchroom full of loud elementary school students (just to make sure we have enough decibels) with mediocre food and the most extensive and authentic beverage selection you’ve ever seen in your life. Worth it? I’ll leave it to you to decide. Worth it to me? I experienced something new, so OF COURSE!

I hope I’m not coming down with something.

Hi there!

Here’s a helpful tip.

In order to relieve work week stress, try tenderizing meat with your fist instead of a gavel or mallet. It is infinitely more satisfying.